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Monday, December 31, 2012

2013: Not for Cowards



It's New Year's Eve!
 
Another year has been spent and a new one is about to begin. Resolutions are flying around like mosquitoes over standing water, and as I relish in the victory that was living through the 2012 apocalypse *slight smirk*, I can't help but wonder what 2013 will bring. How many events will transpire because of "destiny" and what will simply be a result of my choosing?
 
2012 was a very trying year for me. I didn't follow through with anything that I desired for myself (as I'm sure you've noticed by my extreme lack of posting). Yes, I admit that I dropped the proverbial ball of inspiration and creativity, and let it roll under the couch of passivity and martyrdom. I blamed situations and circumstances for my dry season instead of watering the seeds of artistic expression. I allowed my day job, my lack of energy,  my... whatever, to dictate whether or not I was, in fact, an artist and writer. In a sense, I simply forgot who I was... err... am.
 
I have a choice going into 2013... do I continue to struggle with waiting for everything to be perfect before I press into what the muses have been saving for me? Do I beat myself up with all the regrets and "you should haves?" Or, do I simply brush myself off, and move on with a fresh outlook and a new beginning? I choose the latter.
 
Now, I'm not saying that I won't be tempted to be hard on myself from time to time. I'm really bad at that. Or, should I say good at that? Nobody ever needs to remind me of my shortcomings, because I'm terrific at doing that for myself. However, all my misguided and wasted writhing over what I could or could not do during this passed year has yielded me nothing more than frustration, an empty creative spirit, and broken promises to myself.
 
However, I have chosen to learn the lessons that 2012 had so generously afforded me, and will choose to live a more fulfilling 2013. Embracing the miracles of the moment, and finding the joy in the trying times.
 
Artists tend to be a bit more melancholy than most, we all know that. But, we always should remember that life is a beautiful subject to be painted, whether by colors or words.
 
I'm excited about this upcoming year and what it will have in store for me (and you). I feel alive with resolve.
 
Tonight will be spent with my hubby planning our next year. I'm making a new "vision board" and then we will sit together on the couch with nachos, wine, and watch the ball drop.
 
Tomorrow, I will wake up and breathe in the new air of expectancy and joy of new beginnings with a fresh determination.
 
We all have choices to make for this upcoming year. Everyone has something they want to work on or change or tweak a little. We are all in this together, whatever our resolutions may be.
 
It's nice to know we are not alone. Even in the Armageddon of our mind.
 
It's been so long... I would love to hear from you all, again. I hope, in some small way, I've been able to encourage someone who may have been going through somewhat of the same challenges. Artistic block is a beast to be conquered by our resolve and determination. We all can slay the dragon.
 
Wishing you a Happy New Year with abundance of creativity and freedom of expression!!
 
xoxo,
 
CJ

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