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Thursday, May 7, 2009

When Does a Blog Get Too Personal? Now, Maybe?

Okay, I know I've not been blogging as much as usual. I've been trying to, but I've so much to say, and not sure what to do about it. So, I've ended up keeping to myself over the last few weeks.

I've kinda been going through something and I've been debating over the past few days about what is appropriate to share and what is not? What would be sharing my heart and what would be taking readers somewhere that they may just not want to go?

I've decided to share my heart. I hope it's not too much info, but, I'm a writer. This is what writers do... right? (Pun totally intended!)

Well, this is the deal...

After several months of increasing physical problems, I had a biopsy done about two weeks ago. I met with my doctor on Tuesday to discuss the results. I was told that I have what's called "complex hyperplasia with atypia." It's a more concerning type of precancerous stage that will need more aggressive medical treatment, close monitoring, and surgical intervention. My husband and I then met with the surgeon yesterday. I'm needing to have a complete hysterectomy, not only because of the current findings, but because of my past medical history as well. About fifteen years ago I had stage four dysplasia (the stage before cervical cancer). And, if that were not enough, I have severe endometreosis. I've had that battle since I was seventeen years old.

The concern is that although the biopsy didn't show cancer, it was a small sample, and there could still be cancerous spots present. If there are, that will change the dynamic of the hysterectomy. Lymph nodes will have to be removed then as well. I have to have a D&C within the next few weeks. The D&C sample will be sent to pathology for a result. That will determine if there is any cancer present and the stage of the atypia (pre-cancer). Then, after the pathology report comes back, we will set the date for the hysterectomy.

I'm 41 years old. This is a big deal... no, actually, it's huge. But, I have a peace and know in my heart that everything will be fine. I was reassured by the doctor that even if there is cancer present, it would be slow moving, and with taking the lymph nodes, I can be sure that there will not be a re-occurrence.

I'm a wee bit overwhelmed. But, as usual, I'll be fine. God is faithful. Always has been to me.

You may be asking why I would share this with you all, especially as I have men who follow my blog as well? All I can say is that I felt compelled to do this. I had originally determined to only share with a few. But, how could I encourage others in that? I thought I could possibly help other women who are finding themselves at the same or similar place as myself. And, for those who may have already walked this walk, they could be cheerleaders to the rest of us along the way.

Needless to say, my "writing" blog will, for the next little while, be about one young woman's journey through a complete hysterectomy, and coming out at the end happier, healthier, and much wiser for the wear. I know that this post may seem somewhat sterile. Just a whole bunch of info thrown out at you. But, that's where I am right at this moment. Regurgitating information, as I'm still a little bit numb. I see the light at the end of the tunnel, though. I can reach for the other side of this thing. I know I'll be better off when it's all said and done. I can sense that much.

I'm not looking for people to feel sorry for me. I just want to know that I can have the liberty to express what needs to be for my well being. A chart, if you will, of my progress, physically, emotionally, and spiritually to that place of total wellness.

I don't know how long it will be before I get back to blogging about writing. I imagine there will be some veining of it here and there. But, for the most part, at least until I get through to the other side of this thing, it will be about the journey to a healthy me.

I love you guys!


Shoe Mood:

"Better to kick you in the shins with, my dear!"
Nothing is going to keep me down!


Rena said...

Love ya, CJ -- my thoughts and prayers will be with you on this journey. (((HUGS)))

Angela said...

I've very sorry that you are facing this, but know that you have the strength of all those (virtual and otherwise) around you who care deeply about you! You will defeat this, CJ. Include me in those hugs, thoughts and prayers.

Colorado Writer said...

I'm sorry you are going through this. It's rough stuff. You're in my thoughts.

Emily Cross said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family!!

You're so incredible strong, i'm positive you'll beat this!

Lots of love and hugs!

And you shouldn't feel uneasy about sharing your experiences, the blogosphere is a place to reach out to people and share and of course, learn.

Thank you!

Sugareemama said...

Good grief! Is there anything I can do??? I'm close and willing to help whatever way I can!

I think it's also ok to share- I'm for honesty- that way everyone can know exactly what to talk to the Universe / God / Mother Nature about.

Love you and- I'm serious about calling on me to help when you need it.

CJ Raymer said...

Oh, you girlfriends are the best! I love you gals. MUAH!!

Kelly said...

A family member is going through a similar ordeal. It is hard but you will get through it a stronger person. Hugs and prayers for you, CJ!

Bish Denham said...

I'm sending you bundles of positive engergy. Can you feel? Zip, zing,'s pouring over you.

And as for sharing your journey...(I know it may sound trite, but it's true) things happen for a reason. Your story will have a ripple effect that may well touch others with similar symptoms, and help them make better decisions.

Remember to breathe. XOXOX

Tabitha said...

I think, in times like these, it's good to share. Especially when you've got such a great bunch following your blog - look at all the well wishes and virtual hugs!!

I'm so sorry that this is happening to you, but I'm thrilled you've got such a positive attitude. That's half the battle right there. :) So here's some more virtual hugs and well wishes from me, cause I'm going to be sending lots of good thoughts your way. :)


Colorado Writer said...

Hugs for today!

Juls said...

I still remember the beginning of this - I am praying for you and your family. Big E-hugs coming your way.

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